Tuesday, August 2, 2011

HW: Great Draft Moments

The Spirit of Fantasy Football has shined his face upon us for many exciting drafts. There have been a lot of memorable bidding wars (Justin v. Kiah for Terrell Owens in 2007, Nate v. me for Frank Gore in 2010), but a lot of things slightly tangential to the draft itself (why Abe called Marques Colston "Baby Colston," and why the nickname stuck, is a mystery to me).

Please, I beg you to include some of your specific memories of Hazelweird drafts past. I'm sure your memories are different than mine.

(note: I don't always remember the precise numbers, hence occasional asterisks).

"What the heck, I like him: Larry Fitzgerald"
In 2005 we had our first of three snake drafts (also '06 and '08). Larry Fitzgerald, entering his second year, was selected by Justin somewhere in the middle of the draft. And sometime late in the draft, we're talking last few rounds, Brad uttered the infamous words written above, and spent the rest of the night getting us all drinks.

It's not just that Brad tried to draft a player that was already drafted; it was that he did so with a sort of "Oh, I know this is a silly pick, but I'm going to make it out of emotion anyway, oh well" tone that made it legendary.

Nobody saw how it ended; we all hit our heads when we fell out of our chairs.
In 2008, Jerod put out an interesting bid for the Viking Defense: $15. "Thunderstruck" might be how I would describe the reaction of the table. Well, most of the table. Brad said $16. Then Jerod said $17.

Well, I might have started that differently, but different strokes and all.
In 2010, Justin already had Tony Romo on his roster for $36*, and if memory serves me, he had another QB already on his roster too. Yet when his turn to throw out another player came up, he said "Philip Rivers $49*." Everybody just sort of gave each other funny looks as we mechanically flipped our cups over. The look on Justin's face at that moment was sort of like, "Oh."

Little did I know what the future held.
In 2003, the bidding was going on for Brett Favre. I had no interest in drafting Brett Favre. In fact, I hated Brett Favre and wished nothing but ill upon him and everybody who rooted for him. Yet I thought I had a responsibility to bid Favre up, to make one of those sorry Packer fans pay as much as possible for him. But this was the one year Rob decided he shouldn't take Favre (I traded Favre to him after week 3), and as it was down to Brad and I, and I raised the bid to $29 expecting it to march on its way much, much higher, Brad flipped his cup and said "You can have him." I jumped out of my chair and cursed. I set aside my beer and began drinking gin mixed with Mountain Dew Code Red (that's how I rolled c. 2003).

Brad is involved in a lot of these.
Some of you may think that Brad passing on players and ending up with a lot of money when everybody else is busted is some new phenomenon. Well, let me tell you a little story about 2003. Near the end of the draft I had a few measly dollars left, and I was all hot and bothered to draft D'Wayne Bates, the Vikings #2 WR that I had high hopes for, playing across from Randy Moss. Brad had $47 left and only one roster spot to fill it with. I think I threw out D'Wayne Bates for a $1, grinning like the purple-blooded piss-ant I was. Brad said $2. All energetic about the Vikings, I said $3. Brad shook his head and huffed. "47 dollars!" he shouted. I was crestfallen. What's more memorable about that draft: that Brad paid $47 for D'Wayne Bates because he had too much money left at the end of the draft, or that I was crestfallen that I didn't get D'Wayne Bates?

Fine, Jerod, Fine. You'd want me to include this.
I wasn't always so great at hiding my love for the Vikings. In 2004, everybody knew all I really wanted out of the draft was Randy Moss to be on my team. Maybe that's why, in a league where the most expensive player the year before had been under $80, Abe started the bidding on Randy Moss at $100, then looked at me laughing and grinning maniacally (Abe started on the whiskey early in that year's draft, lest any of you think that is also a new development). I, my face ashen, said $101. Rob said $120. All blood out of my face, I said $121, and set a record for the most expensive player. And a few picks later, I paid $102* for Priest Holmes, and my draft was pretty much over.


  1. Abe once drew me a picture of Kerry "F You" Collins mid-draft.

  2. More on the TO bid of '07 that Justin and I got into. According to both of our rankings, he was the last high calibur wide receiver left on both of our boards. Needless to say the chatter degenerated to both Justin and I desperately screaming "He's the last one!" at each other until he meekly flipped his cup and left to have a cigarette.

  3. Jerod,

    I have no recollection of drawing you a picture of Kerry Collins mid draft, but I suddenly have a deep respect for the person I used to be. I was fearless.


  4. How about the first year Rob and I joined in, I got bid up on a kicker cause Justins friend met him once, by the way I did not end up with him, I think it was Morten Anderson

  5. 1. I had drafted Drew Brees 1st with $72 then I took Romo because I wanted him and then I determined that Philip Rivers had to go for more than Matt Schaub and so I started there....and I ended up with 3 QBs who I had ranked in my top 5.

    2. Brad's kicker he tries to remember was not Morten Anderson but none other than Jay Feely.

  6. Because Justin is the moral compass of the league: who are we to decide how much a player is worth? No, friends, he will go for what Justin says he will go for.